Fortune Cookie

Do you ever get the feeling that Chinese fortune cookies are mocking you? Here’s my fortune from today’s lunch: “This is a prosperous time in life for you.” Now, not to put too fine a point on it, but I am not feeling all that prosperous lately. In fact, quite the contrary–money’s tight.

I get this a lot–Chinese fortune cookies that not only don’t seem right, but actually seem antagonistic. It’s like they’re written by my ex or something. On occasion I’ll get a good one, but even then it feels hollow and empty. Case in point–here’s one I got a while back: “Good things will come to you in due time.” Let me repeat: I got this one a while back. I’m still waiting for the good things to come.

Here’s another: “Luck will be yours when you least expect it.” This sucks, because the fortune has just made me expect it. Now it won’t come. It’s a self-defeating fortune.

Wouldn’t you prefer more realistic fortunes? I think I’d appreciate the honesty of something like: “Life’s a bitch–go have a beer,” or “She’s just not that into you, sorry.”