Friend or Faux
So according to my friends, I have become the king of the “faux” date. Allow me to explain the faux date for those not in the know:
The faux date is when you take out someone as a friend. There is generally no physical interaction (i.e. kissing, sex, etc), but you do wind up paying for the date. Essentially, the point of the faux date is simply to enjoy someone else’s company, knowing full well that the odds of it leading to anything more than that are very slim.
I apparently have the faux date down to a science. However, I’m undecided as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I enjoy the faux dates–I always seem to have fun, and obviously I’m not obligated to do them so I must like them. Still, there’s a certain degree of dissatisfaction to the faux date that leaves me cold.
Most people cite the lack of sex/sexual activity as the problem. This is a knee-jerk reaction for most people, as if sex is the ultimate goal of dating someone. It’s a fallacy. The lack of sex isn’t the problem. Strangely (and sadly), not getting sex is something that isn’t bothering me. What bothers me is the lack of romance. In the faux date, you can muster up some flirting, but bona fide romance is a no-no. Usually, your date will become instantly uncomfortable if you go with the overt romantic move (flowers, candlelight dinner, etc).
Since I’ve decided that a little romance might be what’s missing in my life, the faux date isn’t filling the void as much as it used to. This doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing them; I just realize that I need to be on the lookout for something more. The problem, of course, is that it’s difficult to find the right person to be something more. I meet plenty of attractive, nice women–but that’s not enough. I need someone smart, someone funny, someone genuinely interesting. They’re not easy to come by, and on the extremely rare occasion that I’ve met one, it hasn’t worked out. C’est la vie, I reckon...
Fortunately for you all, it gives me more time to work on my blogs. At least my characters have some romance in their lives...
The faux date is when you take out someone as a friend. There is generally no physical interaction (i.e. kissing, sex, etc), but you do wind up paying for the date. Essentially, the point of the faux date is simply to enjoy someone else’s company, knowing full well that the odds of it leading to anything more than that are very slim.
I apparently have the faux date down to a science. However, I’m undecided as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, I enjoy the faux dates–I always seem to have fun, and obviously I’m not obligated to do them so I must like them. Still, there’s a certain degree of dissatisfaction to the faux date that leaves me cold.
Most people cite the lack of sex/sexual activity as the problem. This is a knee-jerk reaction for most people, as if sex is the ultimate goal of dating someone. It’s a fallacy. The lack of sex isn’t the problem. Strangely (and sadly), not getting sex is something that isn’t bothering me. What bothers me is the lack of romance. In the faux date, you can muster up some flirting, but bona fide romance is a no-no. Usually, your date will become instantly uncomfortable if you go with the overt romantic move (flowers, candlelight dinner, etc).
Since I’ve decided that a little romance might be what’s missing in my life, the faux date isn’t filling the void as much as it used to. This doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing them; I just realize that I need to be on the lookout for something more. The problem, of course, is that it’s difficult to find the right person to be something more. I meet plenty of attractive, nice women–but that’s not enough. I need someone smart, someone funny, someone genuinely interesting. They’re not easy to come by, and on the extremely rare occasion that I’ve met one, it hasn’t worked out. C’est la vie, I reckon...
Fortunately for you all, it gives me more time to work on my blogs. At least my characters have some romance in their lives...
posted by Amy at 10:34 AM
2 Comments:
I'm confused about the concept of a faux date. Does the person on the other side of the table know that they are on a "date" - faux or otherwise? Or do they just think their friend Victor asked them to dinner at Chili's and is doing the whole "we're both gainfully employed so sometimes I pick up the tab and sometimes you do" paying for dinner thing? Just asking because I can see why the other person thinking they are going out to dinner with their friend on a Tuesday night might be surprised at flowers or candlelight.
But all that said, you take the dating thing really seriously (and I mean very sincerely as a compliment!) Forget the faux dates - you should go out on more real dates. Even if the majority of them don't work out, at least you're working with a pool of potential candidates. Perhaps there are readers of your blog that would want to go out?
Actually had an old semi-flame suggest last night that she was willing to go out on faux dates with me. She even used the term. Wow !! She's willing to go be wined and dined and movied, on my dime. And knows me well enough to see that I won't stalk or make things messy for her. I am so complimented I can hardly contain myself. Yes, it is surely on my dime since she mentioned 3 times how currently financially inconvenienced she is. As Andrew Dice Clay said, "Jack and Jill went up the hill, they each had a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty." I hope Jack enjoyed the conversation.
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