Inside Deep Throat

I checked out the documentary Inside Deep Throat last night. The film doesn’t quite blow me away, but I still found it interesting. It does a good job of cataloguing the making of the seminal adult film Deep Throat, detailing its unpredictable, meteoric rise to mainstream success. It also chronicles the intense efforts of the government to shut the film down.

If there’s any true revelation in the film, it’s how the men responsible for the moral crusade against the porno film still think they’ve won their battle against Deep Throat, while the mere existence of this documentary is proof that they haven’t. I think my favourite quote from the film is when one of the prosecutors comments that he could continue doggedly enforcing the obscenity laws if only they could “get those terrorists to go away.”

This film is not for the prudish or faint-of-heart. Considering the subject matter, it stands to reason that there would be some explicit footage shown, including the infamous scene in Deep Throat that made its star, Linda Lovelace, famous (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just skip this movie entirely). Interestingly, none of the footage shown comes off as particularly titillating.

Maybe it’s because the scenes are couched within the documentary format, or maybe it’s just because the film was shot in the 70’s—whatever the case, Inside Deep Throat is not a film that’s meant to excite you. It’s meant to educate and inform you. It does this adequately, if not spectacularly. The film has a definite liberal slant, but it doesn’t come off too heavy-handed. I don’t feel this is a particularly important film, but it’s definitely a good flick if you have any interest in the porn industry or the first amendment.

It’s also worth seeing just to see what Harry Reems looks like these days.

The Aviator

I saw The Aviator right after seeing Constantine. A strange double feature, sure, but consider this: Gwen Stefani has a small role in The Aviator (as Jean Harlow) and Gavin Rossdale is in Constantine. There’s the connection!

The Aviator lives up to the hype as a grand epic movie. If you have any affinity for old-school Hollywood or airplanes, you should enjoy the film. Hell, if you simply love good acting, you’ll enjoy it. DiCaprio earns his Oscar nod by pulling off a fantastic performance—he’s so good that within minutes you forget that he simply looks too young for the role. It’s a shame that DiCaprio must lose to Jamie Foxx on Sunday.

But the real acting treat is Cate Blanchett playing Katharine Hepburn. If you’ve ever watched old Hepburn films, you’ll be amazed by how she looks and, more importantly, sounds like Kate Hepburn. The performance is uncannily convincing. She’s got all the mannerisms, the tone, the attitude, down perfectly. As much as I loved Natalie Portman in Closer, as much as Laura Linney was one of the few bright spots in the overrated Kinsey, and as surprisingly impressive as Sophie Okonedo was in Hotel Rwanda (I didn’t see Sideways yet), I’d have to go with Cate on Oscar night.

The movie runs a little on the long side, but I didn’t much care. Scorsese has, in my opinion, finally nabbed his first Academy win.

Constantine

I had high hopes for Constantine, and those hopes were met. I’m predisposed to like comic book movies, and this one is based on one of the great ones—Hellblazer by DC Comics. While the hero has been changed from a blonde, scruffy, British cad into Keanu Reeves, the spirit of the comic has been retained. It’s still a dark meditation on Heaven vs. Hell, Good vs. Evil, with a shady antihero caught in the middle.

This is one of the “Keanu didn’t mess it up” films. Keanu Reeves films always fall into one of three categories:

1) Films he’s actually good in. This is a short list. Basically, it’s River's Edge, My Own Private Idaho, The Gift, and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

2) Films that are ruined by his bad acting. There are a lot of these, but my favourite example is Bram Stoker's Dracula. Good Christ…

3) Films that he doesn’t mess up. These include films like Speed and The Matrix. He’s not particularly good in these movies, but his weak acting doesn’t affect the film.

Constantine has enough going for it to overcome Keanu’s limited thespian skills (although to be fair, he does a decent job of capturing the attitude of John Constantine). The movie’s stylish visuals, creepy quick-paced story, and compelling performances by Tilda Swinton as an angel and Gavin Rossdale as a demon, make for a fun movie experience. It’s no Oscar-caliber film, and it’s not even particularly deep, but it is entertaining. Also, you gotta love a movie where Satan winds up saving the day…

Fear And Loathing In Denver

Hunter S. Thompson, famed writer and journalist, has shot and killed himself in Denver, Colorado. While not a true Hunter disciple, the news still saddens me. I remember reading his articles in Rolling Stone magazine when I was growing up. His madcap, insane style, his long, trippy, hilarious tales, his “gonzo” journalism style of putting himself in his pieces…they all showed me that journalism didn’t have to be so straightforward, so…artless. It could be fun. It’s not like Thompson inspired me to be a journalist, or even a writer. He’s just the first one I remember showing me that you could bend, or even break, the rules of convention.

Those not familiar with Thompson can get a nice taste of his mad world by renting Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. It stars Johnny Depp as Thompson, and is a wonderfully insane film. You can also read the book if you’re willing to put more time and effort into it, or if you’re feeling particularly inspired, go look up the old Rolling Stone articles—fabulous stuff.

This news is kinda bringing me down. Part of me wants to write about gun control issues (Hunter was a proud NRA member and a gun lover), but I just don’t really see the point. Hunter wanted out, and he got out. Truth be told, I can’t really think of a better way for him to go, save maybe an overdose (though that might’ve seemed cliché). Whatever the case, his voice is silenced.

I can’t say that I’m any the worse for it—it’s not like I’m a huge Thompson fan or anything. I just respected him. I respected his talent. I still do. And for that, I’m sorry he’s gone, but I’m glad he left some of himself behind in his words. It’s an inspiration for the rest of us; we should all be so lucky as to write ourselves such a eulogy.

I Wonder Why The Wonderfalls

I highly recommend Wonderfalls to anyone who enjoys quirky, funny, romantic shows with really sharp dialogue. The entire 13-episode series is now available on DVD, and it’s a fun romp about an underachieving philosophy grad who has taken a job as a retail clerk at a Niagara Falls gift shop. For those of you missing the witty banter of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the goofy oddity of Twin Peaks, this show may help fill that void.

It doesn’t hurt that the show’s lead, Caroline Dhavernas, is my new girl du jour. Keira Knightly now crawls into the backseat next to Katie Holmes and Alyssa Milano.

So the torrential rain prevented my old roomie from coming down and watching Wonderfalls. Is it a sign of an apocalypse? Is it The Day After Tomorrow? Whatever the case, the rain is officially affecting my life now. Goddamn condensation.

A word of warning: if you rent or buy Wonderfalls, beware of the inane-yet-strangely-infectious theme song. You’ll be singing it for days…

Turn Around, Bright Eyes...

So we indulged in the sacred and ancient Japanese ritual of karaoke last night, and apparently I do a rather rousing rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” or at least I do after a couple of vanilla-n-gingers. Truth be told, I had no voice left about three lines into the songs, so I just shouted, but I guess people love it when you really go all out up there, and lemme tell you–I went all out, baby.

Poor Sandy. Sandy was my duet partner for the song, and I’m quite certain I wound up drowning her out. Serves her right for leaving our firm (we were there celebrating her freedom from our job). Anyways, it’s often a recipe for a train wreck when you get two people who aren’t totally familiar with the song to sing a duet that’s not really a duet. Fortunately, being the former lead singer of Lochner’s Ghost, I’m a professional, and I was able to roll with the punches.

Karaoke can be a strange, addictive thing. I found myself really wanting to do “Careless Whisper” later in the night. Fortunately, I was able to resist the urge long enough for us to call it an evening.

Work today sucked, as usual. I’ve had “The Pina Colada Song” stuck in my head all day. Maybe I’ll sing that at karaoke next week.

Then again, probably not. I still have some dignity left.

I think.

Movin' On Up...

So I’ve decided to move my blog to another site, http://godsandslushees.blogspot.com/. I don’t know how much technical difference this will make, nor do I know if it really affects anyone other than Nancy (who seems to be the only regular reader of this blog). However, the new site makes the blog much more aesthetically pleasing.

I’m also moving the online novel, for much the same reasons (although I was having some technical difficulties with the novel on bloglines). The novel can be found at http://theonlinenovelofvictor.blogspot.com/. Chapter 2 is up now and hopefully Chapter 3 will be up by this weekend.

Hopefully the move will increase visibility for the novel. I’m eager for critiques. Maybe I should be careful what I wish for. Still, the whole appeal to publishing the novel as a blog is the ability to receive instant feedback, good or bad. Here’s hoping people are digging it.

At the very least, it’s better than most of the crap on TV right now...

In other news, a Valentine’s Day went by without me dumping someone or being dumped by someone. Of course, it helps that I’m not really seeing anyone right now. Still, since my track record with V-Day is pretty dismal, I’m rather thrilled with having a quiet evening with friends rather than a high-drama, high-trauma date last night. And at least I didn’t get a trash can for a Valentine’s present...

Sympathy From The Devil

So I recently found out that my ex-girlfriend’s best friend is dying from cancer. I’ve met the best friend; I knew her fairly well. I didn’t like her much, largely because she was a dead ringer for one of my arch-enemies. I never could get past that. However, I feel a little bad for her.

I was going to send a sympathy card to my ex, just to show a little bit of humanity and compassion. She and I ended a while back on not-so-great terms, despite efforts to be friendly. Still, I don’t hate her...

On the other hand, I am not her friend and don’t really feel the need to be there for her in her time of need. It’s not my job. It used to be my job, but I got fired. I don’t want that job back. I mean, I really don’t want that job back. The pay was decent, but the work was hard and the hours sucked. Lousy benefits, too.

So, callous as it may be, she’ll have to cope with this on her own, or with whoever warms the other side of her bed these days. It’s not my problem. I’ve got plenty of other things to deal with.

I suppose that makes me a bit of a bastard, at least in her eyes. What can I say? She wouldn’t be the first ex-girlfriend to hate me, and probably won’t be the last, either. Hell, one ex actually called me the Anti-Christ... and meant it.

I guess you can’t please all of the people all of the time...

Double Feature

So I saw Million Dollar Baby last night, and I’m struck by the realization that Hillary Swank is actually a man. For real. I’m convinced of it. So naturally that Boys Don't Cry Academy Award is a fraud and Hillary Swank is the Milli Vanilli of the Oscars.

I have also decided that Clint Eastwood is the most patient director in Hollywood, and I mean that in a good way. His films all have something in common–they are all slow, letting the story unfold naturally rather than forcing an artificial pace that doesn’t really suit the tone of the movie. I find Clint to be a compelling director–much more compelling than I find his acting (though I do love the Dirty Harry films).

I also saw Hide and Seek last night...you know–that "scary" movie with Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning? I’ve decided three things after watching this film:

1. I want my children to be Dakota Fanning (when I have children) (if I have children).

2. Robert DeNiro was better in Cape Fear.

3. Robert Mitchum was even better than DeNiro in Cape Fear.

Don’t get me wrong–Hide and Seek is a decent film, worth at least a rental from most folks. I just think I would’ve liked it more if I hadn’t been waiting for the goddamn twist. It seems that every "suspense" movie these days feels the need to have some shocking, Sixth Sense-style twist ending. The problem is that once the viewer starts anticipating the twist, it’s no longer shocking (I saw Hide and Seek's "surprise" coming a mile away, and I’m sure I’m not the only one).

This "Twist-Mania" is ruining ruining the suspense genre. A great example of my point is M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. I’m one of the twelve people who actually loved it, and I think the reason why I love it is because the movie’s not really about the "twist." The movie is a love story and a social commentary, first and foremost, and a suspense film second. The film is not a horror film, even though it was marketed as such (I believe this is why so many people were dissatisfied with the movie).

The Village is an example of a film that understands that the movie doesn’t have to be (and indeed shouldn't be) focused on the surprise. Tell a good story. The twist will just be a bonus. Ironically, Shyamalan is the guy primarily responsible for Twist-Mania, and he’s the one that I believe has the best chance of bucking the trend (well, that’s not really ironic–that’s Alanis Morissette ironic).

Next up: Constantine. Keanu Reeves goes to hell. How can you not buy a ticket for that?

"Fly, my pretties!"

Am I the only one who doesn’t get the intrinsic humour of monkeys? I just don’t think they’re funny. Yet American advertising wizards still feel compelled to put them in commercials (especially beer commercials...I don’t know what that’s about). The series of commercials featuring monkeys in the office place that debuted during the Super Bowl is the most recent example of this. Oh, look, the monkeys are acting like humans. How amusing.

I feel this "monkey business" (bad pun, I know) is a lazy advertising practice. Some ad hack can’t think of a clever or witty ad hook, so he goes with monkeys (or a cute kid or a talking animal...whatever). The old saying is that "everybody loves monkeys." Well, I’m part of "everybody" and I don’t love monkeys. In fact, I think I rather dislike monkeys.

Monkeys I don’t hate: Donkey Kong, the monkey that saved Indiana Jones from eating the poisonous date in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Brass Monkey, the Rally Monkey (though he’s pushing it), "Monkey" by George Micheal, and Chunky Monkey ice cream (please note the conspicuous absence of Marcel the monkey from the TV show "Friends." Screw that monkey. If I get a chance, I’ll run him over).

Monkey commercials pander to the lowest common denominator–that jackass in middle America who giggles with glee whenever he sees a monkey in shirttails. It’s the same audience that tunes in to America's Funniest Home Videos and watches without any sense of shame, guilt, or irony.

I guess it’s time to face facts: these people outnumber me, and so long as they do, I’ll continue to be inundated with images of monkeys driving cars and drinking beers and talking on the telephone. I guess there’s only two possible courses of action: either stop watching TV (unlikely) or train some monkeys to thin out the herd in middle America (less unlikely?). I could have my own monkey army...

Are You Troubled By Irregularity?

So my original idea was to post something every day. Obviously, that’s not gonna work. So I’ve been trying to think of a schedule–say every other day, or five days a week. However, I don’t want to be locked into such a routine (contrary to popular belief, I do have a life). So I guess I’ll post when I damn well feel like it.

I was listening to Mark & Brian on KLOS this morning, and they had a little acoustic heavy metal concert in their studio. Go back and read that sentence again. For emphasis: ACOUSTIC HEAVY METAL. You gotta love that. My favourite part was when they introduced Kip Winger, formerly of the band Winger. So what does Winger do without Kip Winger? Was there another Winger in the group, a la Van Halen?

I don’t even like heavy metal. Why the hell are we talking about this again?

Anyways, I’ll try to post often enough to keep things interesting. I’ve got my online novel up now (http://www.bloglines.com/blog/VictorDAngelo) So you can check that out too–that one I will be updating on a regular schedule...probably once a week. Unless I start dating someone seriously. My normal bitches and hos shouldn’t get in the way...

NetVic's

I bought Ray and The Grudge this week, increasing my obscenely large dvd collection. I’d say I average about one dvd per week–I tend to buy them as they come out. It’s a practice that started in college. My roommate and I used to rent movies from Blockbuster, but we were really bad about returning them on time. It actually became cheaper to buy the movie than to rent it, so that’s what I often wound up doing.

I can’t remember the last time I actually rented a video. I buy so many that I don’t even have the time to watch them all. However, they do all get watched–I lend movies out regularly to friends and coworkers. My coworkers have taken to calling me NetVic’s, as a take on the dvd mail-order service NetFlix. The rules are pretty similar–I’ll hand them a couple movies, and they can hold on to them as long as they need. They bring them back and then they can take more.

So far people seem pretty pleased about this. Obviously the price is right (free), so nobody really complains. Of course, while I have an extensive collection, I don’t have everything. For example, you won’t find the latest Jennifer Lopez crapfest at NetVic’s. However, you have the opportunity to borrow any installment of the Friday the 13th series (actually, NetVic’s is probably much more satisfying if you really like cheesy horror films).

I realize that I spend too much money on dvds. Still, it’s nice when people come over to the crib (I apologize–I just really wanted to refer to my apartment as a "crib") to hang out because I’m almost certainly likely to have something they’d want to watch. Also it’s nice when my sister invites me over to visit and asks me to bring movies, and I can bring an assortment of twenty or so for her to choose from.

I used to do movie nights–double-feature evenings that usually had a theme, like "Scary Movie Night" or "Janeane Garofalo Night" (I realize that some people may find that redundant). The movie nights used to be very successful, but have fallen off in recent years. Maybe people just don’t want to drive out to The Valley to watch movies. West Side snobs...

I see that the Wonderfalls complete series dvd box set came out this week also. I’ll have to pick that up too. Great show–I highly recommend it to everyone. Perhaps I’ll have a Wonderfalls marathon this weekend...that is, if I can finish up my 21 Jump Street Season One marathon...

Oh, come on–everyone loves Johnny Depp...

Isn't It Ironic...Don't You Think?

No, Alanis, I don’t think it’s ironic. At all.

I was driving to work this morning, and I left a bit earlier than normal to avoid traffic. Instead, I actually hit more traffic. How ironic, I thought.

Then I thought again: No, it’s not ironic–unless you’re Alanis Morissette.

See, way back in 1996 Alanis became the laughingstock of English majors everywhere when she released her hit single, "Ironic." The song purported to be a listing of several ironic anecdotes, but none of them were truly ironic in the classical sense of the word. Well...the "no smoking sign on your cigarette break" might be ironic, but all the others are simply a series of bummers. Black fly in your Chardonnay? Bummer. Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? Bummer.

But not ironic.

So a while back, to explain this phenomenon of people saying things are ironic when they really aren’t, I coined the phrase "Alanis Morissette Irony." See, there’s actual irony (defined by American Heritage as "the use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning") and Alanis Morissette irony (which is something that’s not really ironic at all, but is an amusing bummer).

I used to think (like all English majors) that Alanis had to be the biggest moron on the planet because of this song. Then it occurred to me that maybe she’s not a moron at all; perhaps she’s a genius. Consider: Alanis writes a song called "Ironic" that has nothing to do with irony–and isn’t that ironic...don’t you think?

Enter The Ninja

I was contemplating the ninja last night, the 14th century Japanese assassins popularized in the 1980s by a string of cheesy martial arts films. I loved the ninja phenomenon of the 80s. Enter the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination–ninja flicks were the best. I think Ninja III was my favourite–that’s the one where a gym bunny in her 80s workout attire (complete with leg warmers!) gets possessed by the spirit of the ninja. Man, they just don’t make movies like that anymore...

I don’t think I knew a single boy who didn’t want to be a ninja. It was all about trying to score "authentic" ninja stars or trying to learn to walk without making sound (I can still kinda do this). Unfortunately, the ninja phenomenon eventually burned itself out. By the time we got to Ninja Turtles, the fad was tired (incidentally, the Ninja Turtles were pretty hardcore originally, before they became the pizza-eating, surfing-obsessed icons they are now).

However, I’m noticing a ninja renaissance lately. Run "ninja" through a search engine and see the myriad sites that come up (my favourite is www.ninjaburger.com). Ninjas are poised to make a big comeback.

We were discussing the word "ninja" last night. I was saying how I’ve heard the word used lately as a verb, to describe sneaking or hiding. For example: "I was late for the meeting, so I had to ninja in the back door." To be honest, I’ve been the one using it as a verb, but I think it’s catching on. I also have noticed other people (not me this time, I swear) using the word as a synonym for "friend" or "buddy" or "homie." For example: "Vic’s totally cool–he’s my ninja."

Based on this empirical evidence, I figure it’s only a matter of time before we see Ninja IV: Judgment Day.

Just Another Manic Wednesday...

"6:00 already. I was just in the middle of a dream..."

I woke up this morning knowing that I’d been having a great dream. Don’t know what it was about, as I tend to not remember my dreams, but I know it was a good one (and no, it wasn’t that kind of dream). Alas, I owe, I owe, so off to work I go...

Piles of work greeted me at the office today. There’s so much work to do I can’t even feel it anymore. Hence, it becomes a good day to blow it all off, go get a few margaritas at lunch, and begin my first blogging experience.

My ex-roommate just sent me an email with our random question for the day: Which movie character would you want to be? As questions go, it’s not all that revolutionary, and the topic is so broad that it’s almost un-fun to answer. Almost.

I’m gonna go with Jason Dean from Heathers, portrayed by the now-forgotten Christian Slater (yes, I’m aware that he’s in that new crappy horror flick–so what?). Back in my high school days, Heathers was THE movie. It stands to reason, as I had several friends all named Heather. By process of elimination, that made me J.D. when we’d get together for viewings of the movie. We’re really annoying, too, as we do all the dialogue. I do a passable Christian Slater, which is really a passable Jack Nicholson when you think about it...

Anyways, the email question made me think of my favourite quote from the film, naturally spoken by J.D.: "Our love is God; let’s go get a slushee." So now that’s the name of this blog.

Simple poetry brought to you by J.D.